Archive for the 'Terry the Dog' Category

Summer haircut before & after

 

posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 5/31/2015 | No Comments

Let’s try this instead

Well I’m obviously too goddam lazy to write anything of substance here… EVER… so I’m just gonna designate Walking Terry time as LIK time, too. What that means is that pretty much everything from here on out will be stupid things I see while Terry and I are out walking, and by stupid I mean really boring and mundane. Unless its pictures of Terry begging people for food. That shit’s exciting!

P.S. My radio career is dead! Note to self: do not announce to Korea on live radio that Julia Roberts’ mouth is so big you could defrost a turkey in it. Oh and btw, fuck you TBS! Thanks for not reading my SCRIPTED inappropriateness before GOING LIVE. Of course that’s not your job… why would it be?

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posted by Michael in Terry the Dog,Walking Terry on 7/15/2013 | No Comments

Hey asshole, put your dog on a leash

LIK returns from its very, very long hiatus (7 months!) to bitch about these fucking people who think it’s ok to let their big dogs run around the streets of Seoul without a leash.

Since last summer, Terry has been attacked by bigger dogs twice. The first time it happened I didn’t really see the threat until it had picked Terry up by the back and was literally shaking him around like a toy. The dog seemed nice enough until he got too close and Terry went apeshit, and I had to stomp on that dog’s back to make him let go… and that day I learned not to let that shit happen again. This dog was chained up outside a restaurant but somehow got loose and found Terry. I yelled at the owners as best I could, but berating people in Korean isn’t something I’m very good at.

The second time it just happened too fast cuz I didn’t see the other dog until he was about 10 feet away. This time the dog’s owner was a fucking asshole who clearly didn’t take care of her. The dog looked like some kind of boxer mix, and her tits were practically dragging on the ground so that’s a good indicator he just lets her run wild, and after a little scuffle between Terry and the pregnant bitch I laid into this guy with every variation of the F word I could think of. He wasn’t Korean so he understood me and he had the fucking nerve to yell back like his off-leash dog was somehow my fault.

So today some old Korean guy is out walking with a goddam Saint Bernard. The dog seemed very docile, was walking towards Terry, but I don’t care how fucking nice a dog seems. If Terry feels threatened he’s gonna go into fight mode, and the other dog will too. So I’m trying to shoo this dog off, and his owner is saying something like “oh he won’t bite”, and eventually I just yelled at the top of my lungs GET YOUR FUCKING DOG OUT OF HERE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. And he grabbed his dog’s collar and walked off. He might not have understood exactly what I said, but all Koreans know the word Fuck and he definitely knew I was about to lose it.

Stories like these aren’t exclusive to Korea… assholes all over the world are negligent with their dogs… but the problem in Korea is that if someone’s dog kills Terry, the police won’t do shit. The dog-eating Korean stereotype is way overblown and Koreans do like animals as pets, but they’re generally still seen as lowly animals whose owners apparently won’t be held responsible for shit unless a human gets hurt. I could probably start a dog-fighting business here and get away with it indefinitely because Korean authorities don’t give a fuck if an animal kills an animal.

So there you have it. If I ever find myself in a Korean jail cell, it’ll be because I kicked the living shit out of someone whose dog got a piece of Terry.

And for anyone who plans on walking down the street with a big dog, even if it’s the nicest one on the planet… PUT YOUR DOG ON A MOTHERFUCKING LEASH. Thanks.

posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 3/12/2013 | No Comments

Terry the Dawwwwwg

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posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 7/16/2012 | No Comments

Terry’s summer haircut 2012

It’s that time again! This is my first haircut video since I switched back to Mac about 6 months ago so I applied some video effects in iMovie just to see what they look like. Here’s the no-effects version.

Also, this haircut resulted in Terry’s first-ever problem with walking. According to the vet across the street who did an x-ray (also the place where the haircuts have been taking place since 2010), Terry already had some kind of age-induced irregularity and discomfort in his right-side rear leg joint… but I never noticed anything of the sort. So, while getting his hair cut, he had to stand up for 2 hours straight and this apparently caused that irregularity to flare up and now Terry has trouble walking more than a few yards without wanting to sit down or turn around and bite his tail.

If it sounds like I’m not totally believing what the vet says, it’s because I’m not totally believing what the vet says. They had a new person working there, and if she was the one giving the haircut then I think there’s a chance she may have fucked something up. Maybe Terry didn’t like her and he tried to jump off the table and she caught him by his leg, thereby causing this mysterious new injury? I dunno. His next haircut will be somewhere else, though, and if he’s not limpy afterwards then my assumption could be right.


The effects used are Cartoon, Romantic, and Dream, in that order

posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 5/18/2012 | No Comments

Terry with a towel on his head

I am now posting pics of Terry the Dog at terrythedog.tumblr.com. I’m doing it mainly because I like the big gold Esquire magazine picture frame. Terry is a magnificent beast and he deserves nothing less.

posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 5/18/2012 | No Comments

Hey Terry, STFU!

Terry wasn’t really being bad (is he ever?) and I don’t even own a muzzle, but I wanted to let him try one on for size! It would be utterly shocking if he were to ever wear a muzzle again under my watch, unless he goes all zombie or something.

Oh btw, Terry wasn’t a fan of the Hannibal Lecter mask. Big surprise!

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posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 11/26/2011 | No Comments