Archive for November, 2011

bubble bubble bubble POP!

I posted this on facebook a little while ago, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with watching THE WORLD’S MOST OBNOXIOUS K-POP VIDEO again!

It’s actually just the song that’s a crime… I think this video is pretty good from a production perspective. It captures the blatant stupidity of the music, and the director pays proper tribute to Hyuna’s sweet, jiggling ass.

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posted by Michael in Music Videos on 11/27/2011 | No Comments

Hey Terry, STFU!

Terry wasn’t really being bad (is he ever?) and I don’t even own a muzzle, but I wanted to let him try one on for size! It would be utterly shocking if he were to ever wear a muzzle again under my watch, unless he goes all zombie or something.

Oh btw, Terry wasn’t a fan of the Hannibal Lecter mask. Big surprise!

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posted by Michael in Terry the Dog on 11/26/2011 | No Comments

A Thanksgiving Miracle! Or not…

Tonite was the annual Thanksgiving dinner hosted by Bama, and after dinner his gf Jenny did a trivia game where the first two prizes were crap that Bama wanted to get rid of (Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs and an old hookah), and the final Grand Prize was two tickets to the Boyz2Men concert tomorrow (Sunday) night. The tickets were very kindly furnished by our friend Jeff the club promoter.

Unfortunately my teammate Pat and I won! Ehh. With my incredible powers of deduction I figured out that the answer was Angelina Jolie… we both wanted to win just for the sake of winning and laughing at Alaska Jae the loser, but neither of us really gives a shit about seeing a group of middle-aged guys who made their living from singing shit we didn’t even like 20 years ago when it was big. We tried to give the tix to Nate and his wife who just hosted a posh birthday bash two weeks ago for Nate’s bday, but they declined. If unloading the tickets on Facebook and/or craigslist doesn’t happen in the next 12 hours I’m gonna try to sucker some girl I know into going with me. If THAT fails, and it probably will, then Pat and I just might go despite how gay it would be.

The tickets have a face value of about $85 each so we’re both inclined to go instead of flushing them down the shitter. But if we go to this thing together, who’s the Man and who’s the Woman? I dunno but I’ll gladly be the woman if it means Pat pays for all the booze. And no I’m NOT putting out! Shh, he’s not supposed to know that.

posted by Michael in Whatever on 11/26/2011 | No Comments

Greatest OWS protest sign yet

Even hardcore Republicans can’t deny the truth in this sign. Yes Dad, I’m talking to you!! :)

"If they enforced bank regulation like they do park rules we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place"

"If they enforced bank regulation like they do park rules, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place"

 

posted by Michael in Whatever on 11/21/2011 | No Comments

Death of a Taco Truck

This is really old news, so I guess I’m just writing this for the few LIK readers out there who haven’t heard the tale of Taco de Mayo’s demise!

Things were good in the spring… the food was right, repeat customers started popping up at regular intervals, and I had the routine down to a science. And then BAM! One of my kitchen workers decided to stop showing up for work. Turns out she had some kind of family thing that required her to basically move to another city for a couple of weeks, but the dumbfuck never bothered to tell me. So I reacted by sending her a text message in Korean that basically said “I’m disappointed in you”, and to her it was like I had just stabbed her in the face. How dare I have anything to say when an employee inexplicably disappears on me! I didn’t tell her “get your ass back in the kitchen”, I just said I was very disappointed.

So I was down to one kitchen person, who happened to be the absent worker’s friend, and one kitchen person isn’t enough because prepping 50-60 burritos and 80-100 tacos is definitely a two person job. So I struggled to keep things afloat by working the kitchen during the day and the truck at night, and things got tougher when my remaining employee quit due to her friend’s absence.

On top of being shorthanded, the cops seemed to come around more often as it warmed up and they got pretty hardcore at times. They even started showing up with people from Seoul’s immigration office just in case anyone needed to be deported! Things came to a head on a very dark and stormy night when I was waiting for my usual parking spot to open up. The Moroccan Sandwich guy came up to my truck in a panic and said “You go! You go now!!” I was like “huh?” And he was like “You go!!!!” So I went. He wasn’t trying to get rid of competition, he was trying to do me a favor, and a big favor it was because rumor has it one street vendor that night got fined $20,000 or something. I know, right? WTF!!!!

And then came the rain. And more rain. It rained for over two months straight, and even though I had hired new kitchen staff the rain just killed business.

And in the middle of this mess, I came to the realization that I HATE WORKING IN THE FOOD SERVICE INDUSTRY! I could have overcome everything and stuck it out if I’d really wanted to, but I didn’t. I just hated it. So I shut it down.

The death of Taco de Mayo wasn’t entirely due to bad luck and bad employees; I made numerous mistakes from beginning to end that ranged from bad spending decisions to bad menu decisions. I refused to serve shitty half-Korean Mexican food, and as a result I had a product that cost too much to make for a street food market that had too many cheap, greasy options from other vendors. My food was definitely popular and I did increase prices a couple of times, but the production cost was more suited to a restaurant than a street situation.

If I could go back in time and do it again I’d sell something else. Maybe pizza. Buying pizzas from Costco for $2 a slice and reheating them for $4 a slice would have been way easier and I could have fired two employees. But hey whatever… something tells me I still would have hated it!

posted by Michael in Taco Truck on 11/19/2011 | No Comments

Korean guys are known for their huge… fingers

Posted on facebook by someone who I apparently met while sitting on the taco truck.

I don’t know who these people are but… they funny!

posted by Michael in Whatever on 11/17/2011 | No Comments

Bluehost sucks balls

This is Bluehost’s idea of “tech support”:

1. Shut down your account
2. When you call to ask why they shut it down, they respond with “something went wrong, you have to figure it out and fix it and your sites will be down until then”

Asking those dickheads for help of any kind is usually met with a link to their Terms of Service which apparently includes the clause “fuck off, we don’t support shit”.

So that’s where LIK has been the past few months… lost in Bluehost’s blackhole of shitty service. I’ve since moved to a new host where they actually do offer tech support, so I can go back to posting useless garbage here!

If  you need web hosting go to Webair which is just as cheap as Bluehost, except they actually have tech support staff who are willing to do their job.

So in conclusion, FUCK YOU BLUEHOST! Worst. Web hosting. Ever.

Bluehost sucks so bad somebody went and made a website about it

posted by Michael in Whatever on 11/15/2011 | Comments (3)